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Last year, a number of websites satirized the “God Hate Fags”message of Westborough Baptist Church. There were pictures of marshmallow peeps burning fig newtons with signs that said, “God Hates Figs.”

At the time it was just a silly take on a ridiculous message. But people who use the Bible to attack the GLBT community are convinced that their condemnation is coming from a biblical source and not a cultural prejudice. They do not realize that the Bible is big enough to make a case for or against almost anything. To show how silly their method of biblical interpretation is, I have decided to make an actual biblical case against figs. To make my case, I present the mythical preacher Rodney Grunt lll, the “Rod of God.”

“Precious lambs of God, I am coming to you today with a message I did not want to preach. I myself am a humble man. I love everyone and judge no one. But God’s word is sharper than a two edged sword, and today I must reluctantly lift that sword against something that threatens the very fiber of our nation. I am speaking of the fruit that calls itself “fig.”

Just as God condemned homosexuality at Sodom and Gomorrah, so did our precious Lord condemn figs when he whithered the fig tree.

“And when he saw a fig tree in the way, he came to it, and found nothing thereon, but leaves only, and said unto it, Let no fruit grow on thee henceforward forever. And presently the fig tree withered away. Matthew 21:19“

Now friends we cannot say that God’s wrath against the homosexual, and his hatred of figs are different. If Sodom and Gomorrah was a sign of God’s wrath against homosexuality, then Jesus withering the fig tree proves just as certainly that God hates figs.

Some godless liberals, who worship themselves, would tell you that Jesus’ curse applied only to the one particular tree in the story. But one would could just as easily say that God was only cursing the individuals at Sodom and Gomorrah and not homosexuals of today. May God forbid! We would be hypocrites to condemn one and not the other. Just as God wasn’t just condemning that particular crowd in Sodom, we have equal certainty that Jesus’ curse applies to the figs of today.

Notice that God’s word says the curse would be “forever.” We cannot twist God’s word to be politically correct. Just as our reading of Genesis justifies rejecting homosexuals, so does our reading of the New Testament demand the same rejection of a fruit the Bible clearly calls “naughty.”

The other basket had very naughty figs, which could not be eaten, they were so bad. Jeremiah 24:2-3

We must not call clean what scripture calls dirty. Would you really want the leaves that were used to cover Adam’s dirty place in your mouth? God forbid!

Thus sayeth the Lord of hosts, Behold, I will … make them like vile figs, that cannot be eaten, they are so evil. Jeremiah 29:17-18

I will destroy her vines and her fig trees. Hosea 2:12

Friends, am I the only minister in America today who still believes in the whole Bible? God’s word is the same today, tomorrow and forever. We cannot pick and choose what we want to obey. If the curse on Sodom can be generalized to today, we must use that same principle with the curse on the fig tree. If you do not like my message don’t blame me, take it up with the God who is worthy to be praised, who wrote this Bible and who cursed that tree. We must love what God loves and hate what God hates. Friends scripture is clear. God hates figs!

Amen and Amen.

Friends if this message has been a blessing, won’t you please give generously. The Rod of God Ministries relies on your donations to protect America and God from countless enemies.

Thanks in advance for your generous gift.

Rod,

Rodney Grunt lll, CEO