jimrigby.org

The people of a village once looked out to see one of their most pious neighbors tied to a tree. Rushing out to release him, they were stunned to discover that he had tied the knots himself. “Moses tied his ass to a tree,” the man said sternly, “and I’m going to follow the Moses!”

“But the word “ass” originally meant “donkey, not rear end,” someone replied. ”Moses wouldn’t want you to suffer like this.” The man shook his head, “God’s word is unchanging. If you want to pick and choose what you’re going to obey that’s fine, but I take it all literally.”

Eventually, there was just a skeleton tied to the tree. The people were so impressed by the faith of the man that they built an altar with a sign that read, “You can be like this man if you will take the Bible literally.”