It was theologian Paul Tillich who said, “The first duty of love is to listen.” The words are beautiful from a counseling viewpoint, but they can be very disturbing to those whose religion is based on belief.
Listening can be terrifying to those who have learned religion as a parrot song to be recited word for word. Awareness is indeed heretical if one has been taught religion as a trance. When we believe that orthodoxy is the only way to avoid hell we tend not to ask many questions.
We must never forget that religion is a means to deeper living and not an end in itself. Religion that has become an end in itself can only betray us in our pursuit of deeper living and wider loving.
When the unity of our religious group has been established by mindlessly saying the same words at the same time, it can feel divisive to stop talking and actually listen to each other. What kind of “unity” comes from a room full of people reciting holy words with unshared hearts?
We cannot love those we have not listened to. To hear another person, we must listen to their heart song. I do not think it is possible to hear another’s heart song if religion has muffled our own eyes and ears. To seek love we must free our own hearts from the shackles of dogma and moralism.
Tillich seems right in saying the first duty of love is not to recite a creed without deviation nor to practice an ancient ritual without deviation. If love is our goal then our first duty to each other is to listen.